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LOL. This blog is going to rock.
Today was sort of gray and rainy, and for some reason it had a total winter feel. I forgot how much I adore Christmas. It's going to rock. Hot coffees in cold hands, snowflakes silhouetted against streetlights, driving through a crystallized downtown for late night trips to the chocolate shop. Mrrm.
I have a habit of shouting out "I SENSE A BLOG TITLE!" whenever a hilarious phrase turns up. Mom loves it.
So she picked me up at sixish and we went out to Borders to get some books and coffee. I forget how much I love Portlanders. I picked out Catch-22 and then went to the customer service desk to ask where I could find The Glass Menagerie. The clerk asked immediately if I was studying for AP English. I told him yes, and we started talking about it as he walked me to the theatre section. I told him I went to ACMA and he admitted that he had applied but hadn't gotten in! What he really wanted to do was paint, but since he had just moved here he was going to Westview instead. Not a bad school, but still.
Warning: The rest of this post contains too much information!
I suppose all that walking was too much for me, because things were becoming a little... raw down below. I told my mom that my butt hurt and she asks, real matter-of-fact, if I think it's hemorrhoids. Needless to say, I told her no. But it did hurt like a bitch, and I was whimpering at the prospect of having to sit down again, so we stopped at Rite Aid to get some Preperation H and, get this; medicated wipes.
Since I was planning on utterly embarassing myself anyway, we stopped in the special interests isle and I sampled the flavored lubes. Not as delicious as the media would have us believe, let me tell you. We also found some MAGNUM brand condoms labeled 'Twister.' That's sexual.
At the checkout, we had decided to bring a box of condoms and ask "do you carry any extra smalls?" Lmao. Then I found the finger cots, and asked if those might work or, better, the finger of a latex glove. God, I need to be sedated.
For dinner I had a delicious late night feast of potatos au gratin and PEARS. Plus a second helping of potatoes and chocolate milk for dessert.
God I rock.
Oh, and also, I'm hott.
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