Delen Kitchen (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} pwnie) wrote,@ 2009-06-04 09:36:00 |
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Fuckin' Weird Dream
I remember what he told me.
"You wanna suffer like a bitch?" he had said.
I was driving home, everything soaked in mauve at the end of the world. Looked out the window and ripped the silver foil package with my teeth, clutching the steering wheel with one arm making the veins in my left arm strain against skin. Everything was good. We had gotten away with everything.
I pushed the needle in and released. I figured I would be home before it set in. I smiled, I missed him - it had been just an hour but I desperately missed what we had. It came over me without warning. So fucking good. Warmth and gentle pressure snuck in around me from every limb, blurred the corners of my vision, turned my lips up. The street lights flickered like lighting bugs. And then there were the flashes of red and blue, and the sirens behind me. As I slowed I thought, "what're the chances?" I thought, there goes my future, my everything, but I was too lost in the haze to care. I imagined him approaching my window and what I would say. No desire for excuses. "Officer, I am on so much heroine," I would tell him. I saw him step out of his car, a distant black shadow against the back of my retinas. And then the warmth was overwhelming, and I tilted my head back, and what that stuff was doing to me was almost perverse, sexual, like the God damn best orgasm you've ever had. It squeezed me and made my heart swell and then it was so much that there was only black, and I was asleep, praying for it to be over.
When I woke up, he hadn't even moved me. It was inky dark outside and he had crawled up into the car. I was rested in the back seats wrapped in blankets, and as I came to, they felt amazing against my skin. I tried not to move but my tongue had been hung out and when I swallowed it moved back between my lips and he noticed. He tilted me forward and click-clicked the cuffs around my wrists. As I climbed out of the car and the icy night air began to lick at me, I thought back to what he had said.
"You're gonna suffer like a bitch."
I remember what he told me.
"You wanna suffer like a bitch?" he had said.
I was driving home, everything soaked in mauve at the end of the world. Looked out the window and ripped the silver foil package with my teeth, clutching the steering wheel with one arm making the veins in my left arm strain against skin. Everything was good. We had gotten away with everything.
I pushed the needle in and released. I figured I would be home before it set in. I smiled, I missed him - it had been just an hour but I desperately missed what we had. It came over me without warning. So fucking good. Warmth and gentle pressure snuck in around me from every limb, blurred the corners of my vision, turned my lips up. The street lights flickered like lighting bugs. And then there were the flashes of red and blue, and the sirens behind me. As I slowed I thought, "what're the chances?" I thought, there goes my future, my everything, but I was too lost in the haze to care. I imagined him approaching my window and what I would say. No desire for excuses. "Officer, I am on so much heroine," I would tell him. I saw him step out of his car, a distant black shadow against the back of my retinas. And then the warmth was overwhelming, and I tilted my head back, and what that stuff was doing to me was almost perverse, sexual, like the God damn best orgasm you've ever had. It squeezed me and made my heart swell and then it was so much that there was only black, and I was asleep, praying for it to be over.
When I woke up, he hadn't even moved me. It was inky dark outside and he had crawled up into the car. I was rested in the back seats wrapped in blankets, and as I came to, they felt amazing against my skin. I tried not to move but my tongue had been hung out and when I swallowed it moved back between my lips and he noticed. He tilted me forward and click-clicked the cuffs around my wrists. As I climbed out of the car and the icy night air began to lick at me, I thought back to what he had said.
"You're gonna suffer like a bitch."
